5.13.2005

3piece suits, cards, and not bitching about work . . .

Ok, ok, ok, ok. i know. it's pathetic. one update in two months is not actually keeping a blog. i realize this and know that i must be better about it but it's hard to get me motivated. i've caught a cold right now which is why i'm catching up one my emails and stuff. clearly my head is screwed on a bit lopsided these days. i'm working on it.

I've discovered my big guy turn on: the three piece suit. even guys who i normally wouldn't catagorize as being anywhere near hot can be positively boiling in a three piece suit. you know what it is? it's when the jacket is off and they're wearing the waistcoat and maybe their sleeves are rolled up and they look fucking fantastic. case in point? today i worked with a guy who i'd never give a second look or anything. very not my type. except he was dressed exactly the way i described and i thought he looked amazing. the fresh haircut helped too. yeowza!

ok, another rant regarding boys: The big H is always going on about putting your "cards on the table." is this really a good thing? i've found that putting the cards on the table just make me feel like ass cuz clearly there is never any reciprocation when only one person is putting their cards on the table. but if you wear your heart on your sleeve (as i do most of the time) does that require a cards on the table moment. clearly he would know how i feel. is verbalization necessary or it is just an added humiliation? but whenever such a situation arises, the Big H is screaming "cards on the table! cards on the table!" meaning that i need to stick it out there and hope it doesn't get cut off. oi vey! don't know if i should be doing this.

ok, enough about boys and no more about work. all i do lately is bitch about work and i'm worried about becoming "that guy." i don't wanna be "that guy." "That guy" is an asshole. but when so much stress is generated from one place, it's tough not to bitch about it. but you know, my personal life, my work life, my family life, my love life, my home life, and he rest of the facets of my life can go to shit if it's one at a time. unfortunately, right now they all seem to be headed towards the shitter and i think i'm having a tough time coping with that. i know, i know; must breathe . . .

i happy news, my sister and brother in law are in town for a couple of weeks. i love taking them around and showing them everything but it's exhausting. they are in kyoto for a few days (they'll be back on tuesday) so it's a good time to rest up. i'd feel terrible if i was less than 100% while they are in tokyo. good thing i'm hitting the meds pretty hard core. thank god for nyquil.

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