Ah, kin! a burial and a 3 day date with Grandpa

Well, the parental units are back in Japan and we went off to Kyoto Friday noon to bury my cousin who died last year. After a pack of katsu sandwiches on the shinkansen, we were picked up by a van full of family and taken to the temple where my cousin was getting buried the next day. after sweeping, pulling weeds, washing headstones, and 5 mosquito bites later, we piled back into the van and went up to the cemetary where team Tanaka has their plot to pay respects to my grandfather and the rest of the family. more sweeping, pulling weeds, washing headstones, and 4 mosquito bites later, we went back to my aunt's place. had quick break and off to dinner at my other uncle's where he served up a gourmet dinner packed with heaps of hammo, a type of fish only found in the kansai area. he even smoked some bacon which i got to take home with me to tokyo.

the next morning, the olds get up at 5 fucking o'clock and they are milling around, turning on tvs and shuffling around and talking. i finally get up at 7 :15 and get asked how i make any money or run a business by sleeping in so late. geez! after breaky, we had to get dressed in our formal black funeral wear even though it crazy kinds of hot and humid out there. dad was in his boxer shorts until 10 mintes before we got in the car. there was a service at the temple. lots of praying and incense burning and namyohouringenkyo-ing. we get the urn, go out the grave, do some more namyohouringenkyo-ing and then homeboy (the priest) pops the urn open!



he gets a big silk bag with prayers written all over it and everyone places his bones and bone fragments BY HAND into the bag.

it was so strange. the bones felt like porous baked meringues -- firm-ish to the touch but very delicate. and my cousin was a big dude so the bag was really full.

then the front of the altar was removed and there was a really small opening where we had to fit him in through.

more praying and incense burning and finally we were done.


we reconveined at a fancy tempura restaurant with a beautiful garden. here are some pix:


This is the widow and my cousin's daughter. i swear you would never guess that these people had lost a husband and a father. i remember thinking theydidn't seem sad at all at the funeral. i guess we all grieve in different ways..........

and my cousin, Yoshihisa.


i came back to Tokyo that nite and pulled into ike at about 9 pm, just in time to meet J and Takeshi and chizu for a drink. jess and shelly stopped by a bit later as it was shelly's last nite in japan and we want to have a drink to say bye.

i had come back to tokyo early since there was no one to take care of grandpa for the next coule of days (day care was closed and there was old people's celebration day and he's my token geriatric). we went out to yurakucho to check out dirty over priced antiques at the flea market/antique market and then sauntered down to ginza for some pasta lunch. the next day we went to kawaguchi to see grandma. we brought her some cake and aterwards, we had a bowl of ramen before heading home. and the day after that, i took grandpa to have his feet looked at by the podiatrist and afterwards we went and had some coffee. why am i recounting my 3 day date with grandpa? because in those three days, my mind kept going back to that scene in Say Anything when Johnny Cusack says to Ione Skye that he doesn't want to go to the old folks home because their mouths don't work so good and watching them eat is so depressing. i'd actually never thought much about it until this week. when there's food in front of old people, they are like people on mission. grandpa barely breathes when there's food to be consumed. he barely even chews. he starts coughing up a lung cuz he's drinking his coffee too fast. and i had John Cusack's words repeating in my head.

old people's celebration day (or as everyone else calls it Respect for the Aged Day) has absolutely no meaning in Toyko. i spent all day with my token old guy but there was no respect for olds to be seen anywhere. we were the only visitors at the care facility where my grandma stays, no one even thought to give up their seat for my grandpa on the train or the bus until i moved them; in fact there weren't people with their token oldies around at all. i thought that was depressing. i think they should show the movies Cocoon and Driving Miss Daisy on repeat like they do on TNT back home the day before to remind people why they have the damn day off. no wonder why some species eat their young.