so i alluded to something that was potentially bad news a few entries ago and now that the scare is over, i can now purge myself of it in a public forum (that hopefully no one reads).
around mid-may after the whole canyoning trip, i found a lump in my left boob. it was fairly sizable, it didn't hurt, but since aunt flo was visiting, i decided to wait it out and see if it went away. it didn't.
so i go to my GP and he sends me out to get a mammogram right away. now i worked at an ob/gyn for years and i know the whole procedure of getting a mammogram but it doesn't prepare you for how much those fuckers hurt. this massive vise clamps down on your boobs one at a timeand you have to hold your other boob away from it so it doesn't obstruct the view of the boob they are x-raying. this very nice technician was pulling and smashing my poor boobs against the machine and i think i said "fuck me this hurts!" about 800 times. i hope she didn't take offense. i go back to the docs a few days later and he tells me that the "mass" is about the size of an egg. since i had been doing breast cancer research online, i asked him very specific questions. he leveled with me and said that that possibility of cancer was definitely there and if it was cancer, it would be about a stage 3 cancer, fairly adanced. breast cancer in young people is often detected late because they don't look check for it regularly and it is often rather aggressive. i lose my composure that day, skip out on work entirely (which my boss was so cool about -- thanks Jay) and i went home and cried and planned my funeral. the doctor gave me my mammogram to take with me and suggested that i go see an oncologist while i was home in America.
that night i had dinner with the friends and i told them about it. they were all super supportive and helpful and i felt like i owed them an explaination since i had been dodging them for a couple of weeks. i swear i have the greatest people in my life. i don't think i could have gotten through this without them.
trying to score an appointment with an oncologist in america is impossible. i tried calling a couple places and my friend on the east coast did a bit of research on my behalf for doc in north carolina but most of them require bookings way in advance (like cancer waits for the doc to be available). they also don't want to see you if you don't have insurance even if you say you will pay them out of pocket and they don't want to start you on their program unless you're going to have the full treatment there. so i was shut down at every turn in the states which wasn't altogether surprising and i came home with my mammogram and no treatment.
my tokyo GP sent me to the university hospital in itabashi where i had my tumor removed last year. he told me he'd get me the best doctor in the city and boy, did he ever. my doc is apaprently the top rated boob man in tokyo. definitely at that hospital. dry, utterly sober, and quite pragmatic, Doctor Amano is what i always imagined a japanese doctor to be. he ordered some more tests (an echo, blood work, another mammogram, and an mri) and determined that i had granulomatous mastitis, not cancer. whew.
so i still go see him once every couple of weeks. he put me on some meds (a steriod that apparently gives me "euphoria" and makes me eat heaps ["which is why many people get fat taking this medicine"] and gives me a "moon face") so i take those once a day and hope the mass subsides. he says it will take a few months anyway.
i don't know what it is with me! i just can't seem to stay healthy! it's a sign . . . . .
