fun with grandpa

took grandpa out for an afternoon date a couple weeks ago. we were the only ones in the print club booths over the age of 15.

love that mango sundae!

Toro Nagashi at Shinobazu Pond

It was Tokyo Obon (which takes place a month before the rest of the country does obon for some reason). During Obon, the spirits of your dead ancestors and relatives return from the grave to your home for a week. you're supposed to have "horses" made of eggplant and cucumbers to aid their journey and have lanterns or ground cherry plants by the door to guide them back. you're also supposed to have their favorite foods etc, etc. this being my grandmother's first obon (and therefore very important), we were supposed to do all of these things. we fucked it up, of course, and didn't do it right so i figured it was important to do at least part of it traditionally. I went to Toro Nagashi in Ueno park where they float lanterns on the water on the last day of Obon to send the spirits back to the underworld.


there were monks with basketson their heads playing flutes (kinda pied piper stuff) to lead the spirits:


the altar.


and a short ceremony.



each monk gets a lantern to place in the water:


a lot of lanterns were placed in the pond. there was a large bonfire in the middle of the lake as well.



it was very quiet, simple and very pretty:

i'm not very good at many things but i can say with complete confidence that i make a damn good meatball sammich.

My Proust Questionaire

a good friend of mine sent me one of those "surveys" a while ago and i never did it. it was about 30 questions or so and although i've had the time, i didn't really like the questions. she lives in the states and just had a baby so her life is fun and exciting. me? i don't own a car, probably never will again; i don't have a real job; don't really eat breakfast regularly (unless eating peanut butter straight out of the jar and chugging OJ out of the carton counts). and while not doing a random internet survey that doesn't count towards anything shouldn't be something to dwell upon, i found myself bothered by my lack of participation. so kat, i meet you halfway. here are the answers to what would be my Proust Questionaire (generally, the same questions asked every month to a different famous person on the back page of Vanity Fair Magazine):

What is your most marked characteristic?
my scathing honesty or the amount of swearing i seem to employ on a daily basis. my toe rings.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
besides good arms? the ability to NOT take himself so seriously.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
patience and strength.

What do you most value in your friends?
Honesty, even though i don't always get it even when i ask for it; and forgiveness, which i almost always do.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
my extraordinarily short fuse.

What is your favorite occupation?
photojournalist. cake tester.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
sharing good food with the people i love.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Summers in Tokyo with no air conditioning, filing for bankruptcy, being told i can never have cheese or nutella again, depression

In which country would you like to live?
Vanuatu before it sinks into the sea permanently.

Who are your favorite writers?
I have found my literary soulmate in Johnathan Franzen. i'm not all that interested in reading his fictional pieces but i just finished his collection of essays called How To Be Alone and it was like tapping into a better, more eloquent, streamlined version of myself. it's been a long time since i felt like anybody or anything really understood me the way this book did.

Love, love, love Somerset Maugham, David Sedaris, Graham Greene, oh so many more. i love to read.

Who are your favorite poets?
Victor Hernandez Cruz and Leonard Cohen. As a song, I'm Your Man is not a favorite but as a poem, it hardly gets better than that.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Deadwood's Al Swearengen -- although i'm not sure he could be called a hero.

Who is your favorite heroine of fiction?
Aunt Jemima

Who are your favorite composers?
Orff, Beethoven, Mozart, Gardel

Who are your favorite painters?
Munch, Picasso, Van Gogh

What are your favorite names?
i'm saving them for future kids or dogs, whichever comes first.

What is it that you most dislike?
People who have contempt for others. Passive-agressiveness. Haunted Houses.

Which talent would you most like to have?
i wish i were an easier person to love.

How would you like to die?
i have several death wish fantasies, but i guess i'd like to go Mama Cass style -- choking on a ham sammich.

What is your current state of mind?
I'm disappointed. It's been a very tough year.

Losing my grandmother earlier this year has had a profound effect on me. people seem to be of the mind that i should be over it more quickly because she had been ill for so long so losing her shouldn't be such a shock. For the first few months after she died, we were all so busy making arrangements and fighting over arrangements and clearing out the house. 5 months and 9 days later, i am still feeling her loss. i know everyone has their own problems and their own lives but it hurts that this is a topic pushed aside. but i guess that's what writing in journals is for.

What is your motto?
Life is a work in progress. It's OK to fuck up.