and so it begins . . .

man, 2010 was aggressively bad.

ok, probably not the whole thing but when the last few months are asstastic, the rest of the year kinda blurs. in short, heartache, heartbreak, heartburn, and a heart stopping experience with the near loss of mom. suffice to say, i'm glad it's over.

and all of this culminates to 2011, the year of demotivation. i spent new years wrapped up like a burrito in front of the tv and have tried to spend as much time since in my pjs. i have been absolute crap about all the stuff i took pride in last year: writing to family and friends, reading the news, cooking meals, even staying hydrated. needless to say, no resolutions.

But this is not a paxil-laced depressed ranting. this is perhaps, just a rut, something that i can get myself out of. i imagine a porchetta sammich in new york with my sister in a couple weeks will do wonders for my crepuscular outlook.

to prove that it hasn't gone 100% into the shitter, i recount the few salubrious things i've been doing since the start of the year:

1. i've been walking like a mofo. grandpa has been moved to a hospital a brisk 25 min walk away. so i've been on the move, nearly everyday, racking up a few extra miles on the shoes.

2. his hospital is near a very vivacious shotengai (that's a japanese shopping street -- lots of markets and shops, a couple pachinko parlours, some restaurants, etc.) where i've been buying lots of veggies and fruits and eating one of these every day:


fresh blueberries! very yum. and yes, i eat the entire thing in one go. (SIDEBAR: i don't have a lot of things that i'm particularly skilled at but i do like to consider myself a semi-intelligent person who is fairly literate and has a relatively strong command of vocabulary. and yet i call this a "thing" or "thingy" of blueberries. apparently the word is "punnet," something i had to learn from my australian friend. my initial reaction, "what the hell is a punnet?!" soon gave way to the shame that i SHOULD know this damn word. it doesn't change the taste of the blueberries but my daily consumption is also my daily reminder of my failure in vocabulary.)

3. my nightly stretching sessions. ive restored quite a bit of my flexibility recently which tends to confuse most japanese people. apparently in tokyo, fatties can't be stretchy.

so it is with restrained hope that i end my first entry of the new year. given that it is already february, my demotivation is very obvious. but i'm working on it -- it's just going to take a little more time.